Wednesday, May 30, 2012

First, I'd like to thank...
I'm quite excited and feel like I'm a slacker by only just now acknowledging this award.  Many thanks to Carrie at The Slow Dripped Life for the honor.  I'll be really Kreative if I can get a link back to her site in here.   The Slow-Dripped Life.  I think I did it right.  We shall see. 
I think the most difficult part of all this is answering questions about myself.  Usually I'm the one doing the interviewing. 


1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog.
2. Answer the seven questions
3. Provide ten random factoids about yourself.
4. Last but not at all least, hand this on to seven deserving others.
Seven Questions (that only scratch the surface)
1.  What is my favorite song?
      How does one capture the wind?  It's as impossible as saying my favorite song.  Depending on my mood or what I need, I go with everything from Mozart to George Strait, Michael W. Smith to Van Halen.  I can say when I have a migraine Pink Floyd is better than drugs. 

2.  What is my favorite dessert? 
         Graeme McDowell and a can of whip cream--wait, it said dessert, not fantasy dessert, didn't it?  I'll have to go with  homemade chocolate chip cookies just out of the oven with a cold glass of milk.  Or coffee.  Everything's good with coffee. 

3.  What do I do when I'm upset? 
        I'm not much of a crier, but more of a plotter.  I write and kill people in my stories.  It's less obvious and more legal than real life.  Maybe I don't kill them but make bad things happen.  But this is if I'm upset with people.  Otherwise I just journal about things.  Then, when things are better I either store them for later reading or burn it as a symbol of a new start. 
       Mostly I just harm people in stories though.

4.   What is my favorite pet? 
      It wouldn't be fair to pick one.  I mean, you don't tell people who you're favorite child is--you have one, but you don't say it.  A mangy hyena might be kind of fun and different....

5.  Which do I prefer: white or wheat?
      I go with white/wheat bread--I want it all!

6.  What is my biggest fear?
      That I'll meet the boogey man and he won't be as scary as people said.  I'll have wasted all that time being afraid of him when I could've been doing something else. 

7.  What is my attitude mostly
      Have confidence in myself and care about others.  
Ten Random Things about me.....
  • I was going to be a cardiovascular surgeon. Then I did a pedi rotation.  Darn kids ruined it for me. 
  • Possum and nutria aren't so good, but alligator and rabbit are pretty tasty. 
  • I love Ireland and will visit there before I die.
  • I love my red curls and freckles. 
  • My forearm is longer than my foot.
  • I've started an intraosseous IV on a baby--that's an IV in a bone instead of a vein. 
  • I love ice hockey--need more of it in Louisiana
  • I can curl my tongue down and up.
  • I've never had stitches or a cast--so far. 
  • I love to travel where you get to meet people, not just see things. 
And now the most important part:  Seven people who deserve this more than me:
Blabbin Granny--
Journaling Woman--
Writing in Wonderland--
Wagging Tales--
Texas Playwright Chick--
Sherry Perkins--
Gonna Eat Worms--

It's so hard to pick just seven as there are so many incredible places out in cyberspace. 
Thank you again, Carrie, for the award and all who read this. 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I was going to post this in two parts--but didn't

Part One
I've been wondering why do people still get married?  I searched the Internet and found all kinds of answers:  Children, financial or emotional security, love. Every reason given I can get outside of marriage except one--- “You’re supposed to.  Everyone does it.”   To which I have four words: lemmings to the sea.
In all that I read I had to wonder if marriage is more of an antiquated sentimentality than a useful social institution.  In history marriages were arranged by someone besides the groom or bride and didn’t involve emotions. Love was discouraged and reserved for affairs and friendships.  Marriage was for power plays, politics, and procreation.  Love really didn’t enter into it until the Renaissance when stories and art blossomed.  In the 21st century we have raised it to a whole new level.  Fairy tale weddings may have started with the Brothers Grimm but are perpetuated by American capitalism.  The wedding is as much about the wedding planner as the bride.  The groom is just an afterthought.
Many of the taboos surrounding relationships no longer exist: sex outside of marriage, child out of wedlock. Affairs are expected. Marriage isn’t a deterrent for such behaviors.  Financially, emotionally,  and socially both sexes can survive without a spouse. 
Knowing this,  I have to ask:  why do it?  And not only once, but why twice, three times, and even four?   I know we don’t want to be alone, but why not just live together?  It’s what people do anyway to make sure they can get along.  I’ve heard the argument that the marriage bond makes people more committed.  I’m not sure I believe that when almost half of marriages in America end in divorce.  
I was also searching why people get divorced.  There were many reasons why, but one stuck out.  Because we can.  When we get bored, angry, find another to love, it’s easy to say I’m leaving.   If we aren’t being fulfilled then it’s okay to seek something else. The marriage relationship is focused on the needs of the individual rather than a commitment between two people that considers all sides.
From what I’ve read and heard marriage as a social institution seems obsolete.  We don't have to use it for financial security.  We don't need more kids in the world.  It's not such a strong political leverage anymore.  People can give me all sorts of arguments, but I’m happy being single.   I can’t think of why I’d want to rock the boat on that.  I love all sorts of men.  Why should I choose just one and according to modern society I shouldn’t let a little thing like he’s married to someone else get in the way. Who cares about her and the kids as long as I get what I want?  Who cares that he’ll probably cheat on me, too?  I’ll just go on to someone else. To put it crudely, why should I pay for milk I can get free?
It isn't the 40 year old virgin we should be making fun of.  It's the crazy chick whose dad spends more on her wedding dress than he did her first car that needs to be ridiculed. 
(Collective gasp from all the soccer moms and religious folks. Don’t worry.  I’m still on the side of the angels.)
Part Two
     I believe in marriage, but not as a social institution. Society takes God out of the marriage relationship, but in its truest, purest form, you can’t because marriage is a gift from God. It’s one man and one woman, together forever.      
     I’ve struggled with this because I know people who are on their second marriages or have married people with children and exs, many of them Christians.  They seem like good people.  The older I get the fewer fish in the pond so I wonder if I should compromise in some point.  But it’s clear what God’s viewpoint is, no matter how much we try to rationalize it.  (Genesis 2: 20-25; Matthew 5:31-32; Mark 10: 1-12)  People may change, but God doesn't. 
     When I was younger I met a guy who I thought was the man for me.  We understood each other and complimented each other.   The problem?  He was married.  We didn’t pursue the relationship.  In later years he called because he and his wife divorced.  Here was my chance at my soul mate.  What stopped me?  The minute he married her he became her husband.  She was the mother of his children.  He chose her.  I would always be the other woman.   I don’t want to be his second chance to get it right. What if he thinks he messed up again? 
Yes it’s true:   I’m a hopeless romantic. I want to be the one he waited for.   I believe in fairy tale endings and Prince Charming.  I know I can have my happy ending.   
Oh, I'm not so pie-in-the-sky  to think it will be all hearts and flowers.  What we obtain too cheap we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only that gives everything its value.   Thomas Paine said that of freedom.  I think it's true of our marriage commitment. It's not about me and what I get, but about us and what we can do for each other.  The hard times make us grow and the willingness to forgive strengthens our belief in the relationship. 
And it's not just our actions in the marriage but also what we do before that shows how seriously we take it.   Am I living a life now that shows I believe in marriage?  Or am I getting my free stuff thinking I'll change once I find "the one"?
I’ve been told I’m too idealistic.  Too picky.  Too prudish.  I’m told I’m unrealistic in my expectations.  I don’t believe that. Too many people buy into that lie and lower their expectations.   They end up in bad relationships because they think bowing to peer pressure is better than being true to themselves. 
Because I believe in God, I believe all the things He said are possible.  I'm holding out for the one who's holding out for me.  I've come too far to give up now.  I’d like to be married, but I don’t need to be. If I can’t have marriage God’s way, then I'll pass on it.
Some people won't agree.  Me?   I’m good with it. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Wedding Video and a Question of Etiquette

If April was the Alphabet, May seems to be Marriage.  I guess since I've been getting some invitations, weddings have been on my mind, especially how to get out of going.  One thing that helps is when people get married at the same time.  You can't be in two places at once. 
The problem with so many weddings is you have to buy so many presents at one time, along with all the graduation gifts.  And I would like a summer vacation. 
If I get married I'm going to pick an obscure wedding month...except not January.  January is when people get their bills from Christmas.  Maybe October or November 1.  It's far enough from everything expensive so I'll probably get better gifts.  I know I spend more on people with fall weddings since I don't have so many other things to do. And, Halloween is just over so I can save on wedding decorations.
This is my etiquette question: if you've been invited to a second wedding---as those who read my last post knows I have---do you have to buy a present if you bought the person a present for their first wedding?  I'm not trying to sound cheap here but I go back to the previous statement that everybody wants to get married at the same time.   Weddings, graduations, a few babies thrown in:  stop the insanity!
Second weddings bring all sorts of new complications:  first for  bride, second for groom.  Third for  bride, first for groom.  These things happen, especially the older I get. 
Then there's the question of should you even go, let alone buy a gift,  if you liked the first spouse better and you think your friend has lost their mind getting married again. 
I'm sure some bridal magazine has a book about this and will be willing to sell it, but I can't afford it because I have to buy all these wedding gifts that I may or may not be obligated to. 
This is yet another reason to get married once and stay married.  It's so much easier on all the people you invite to the ceremony.   
So you may be asking if I got a gift for the last wedding?  Yeah, some towels they had on their registry. I mean, everybody needs towels, even if the wedding doesn't last...again.
The more pertinent question people have been asking, though, is what video were we watching? 
Weird Al's Like a Surgeon, of course.  

Where else can you can learn about medicine, lawsuits,  and dancing before they say "I do"? 

So, what about you?  What kind of issues have you faced as a wedding guest? 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Second Weddings..and thirds..and fourths...and....i-phones

File:Queen Victoria Albert 1854.JPG
I recently went to a wedding more out of curiosity than anything.  (I had received an invitation so I was good.)  It was his second wedding.  I'm not sure about her.  I only know her by reputation. 
So, I'm sitting there thinking "wow, look at all the money they spent.  This is more than his first marriage.  They could feed Bangladesh for a month."  I'm thinking of poor starving children and didn't realize we were standing for the bride until the lady on my right nudged me and glared.  Apparently sitting for the bride is one of those Cardinal Sins.
Now, remember, I know this girl by reputation.  Seriously, white?  I quickly pull out my phone and commit another wedding transgression:  I look up the rules for wearing a white wedding dress.  In this tradition I'm going to have to cut her some slack.  White dresses aren't necessarily for purity.  It was a tradition made popular by Queen Victoria and signified wealth since only rich folks could afford to wear a dress that you'd only wear once and was easy to get dirty.  It took American capitalism to make white wedding dresses into a billion dollar industry..much like Halloween. 
Now I could buy that.  I mean, she must be marrying a rich guy.  He can afford her and an ex-wife.  At least she didn't wear a veil.  That would be a greater wedding faux-pas than watching Weird Al videos while they're lighting the Unity candle.
I know the wedding police to my right was not amused, but I made the guy on my left laugh.  When the groom said "Love, honor, cherish as long as we both shall live"  I had to whisper  "Yeah, like I haven't heard that before."  His wife wasn't amused either.
The day wasn't a total loss.  They actually had white wedding cake:  the real reason why people come to weddings.  And there were corn dogs on the buffet.   I learned not to look up things or text while being a part of the wedding video.

Cardinal Sin
I have another friend who is planning her second wedding.  My advice to her?  Don't waste your time on a wedding.  Save you money and in ten years have a "we actually made it this long" party.  I'd come to that. That way if you divorce again you won't be out a bunch of money and you didn't make your good friends wear ugly bridesmaid dresses. 
My other advice on weddings.  Bring your iPhone. You know you're going to want to look up something.  You could always say you're taking pictures. 

And, just so you know, there was a Cardinal named Sin.  How great is that?  His first name was Jaime.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Word Verification and Links

The day is not complete unless I learn at least one new thing.  Today I learned a lot, but three very important things:
  1. You have to turn off word verification.  On Blogger the default setting is word verification on.  Who knew?  Apparently not me. If you want to turn this off you go to your dashboard.  Click on posts and comments.  It gives you the option of "show word verification?"  you can use the drop down box and click no. At least I hope that's it.  If someone tries to comment and it does something different, I would appreciate the heads up.  It never did it when I commented so I wasn't aware it was on.
  2. You have to add a link when you follow someone so they can link to you. This is not a part of the default setting.   I was not aware of this and do apologize to anyone who couldn't find me. I love to check out the people who follow me and wished for a link on their photo. 
  3. How to add a link, you ask?  It's so easy...once you know how to do it.  I tried to find instructions but didn't know what key words to type in the help search. So, help wasn't helpful.   I ended up just pushing buttons.  After inadvertently becoming a member of Hair Club for Men and securing myself a spot on the space shuttle I finally clicked the right tabs.  This is the secret handshake to get into the club:  when you click on "join this site"  at a blog, click more options when the pop up comes.  Then go to add a link and type your site or name.  Then click add.  Then click follow.   You only have to do this once.  It's that simple.  So simple, I managed to get two links to my site added.  Don't be an overachieving goober like me.  If it happens, click remove links then choose the link you want to remove.  If google isn't involved I don't know how you do it.
Thanks to Tamara at Get Your Giggle On for the information in her reflections post.  That's where I learned about Blogger's default settings.  The whole A to Z Challenge I didn't realize I was doing the two things that annoy me most in blogging. 
Maybe others already knew this, but just in case someone is out there wishing they had the same information, I'm posting it here.
I'm enjoying the reflections posts as much as the challenge itself.  Everybody took away something a little different but all who finished seem to agree it was truly a Challenge.

Sunday, May 13, 2012


Wow, two posts in one day.  I'm a maniac.  This one should've been posted last week, but it's been crazy at work, so I haven't really had time to reflect on the A to Z Challenge.  Now it's too late to link at the challenge site, but I'm going to post this anyway. 
I started the challenge because my friend Sylvia over at Writing in Wonderland suggested it and I thought, hey, fun.  Why not do it? 
Who thought it would make me crazy? 
This was my first year  so I was concerned I wouldn't do it right.  I wasn't sure what a blog hop was at first.  It sounded like a dance more than a computer thing.
I would stay up late the night before, trying to get the post just right, worrying over each word so that I wouldn't say the wrong thing.  I'd be exhausted at work and still fretting over the posts.   I'd scramble trying to visit sites.  I was making myself insane trying to get to all 1700+ sites.  Then came the challenge to get over 100 followers.  I tried to figure out how to get more people to my site.  My mind was filled with all sorts of crazy notions.
Then it hit me:  I can't possibly do all this.  So, I took a different approach. I went for quality over quantity.  I didn't try to collect followers, but found sites I was interested in. I wrote my posts, kept up with the sites I could, and added a few more as time permitted. 
It started being what it was supposed to be: fun.  I posted each letter on the right day. I visited other sites.  I finished with my sanity intact. I'm still checking out other sites on the list and keeping up with those I linked to. I didn't get 100 followers, but I have more than when I started.  I have new friends to check out and I learned about all sorts of things from law, to Scandinavian culture, to writing techniques and murders. I went all over the US and the world.  It was a wild, fun ride.
Did I have some favorite places?  Sure, but to point out a few would be unfair to the others I don't have space to write about. 
This is the most important lesson I learned:  I write because I'm a writer.  I write what I'm passionate about.  If people buy it, fine, but whether or not they do, I'm still going to write.
Will I do it again?  I'm already thinking of how I can do next year different, so I guess that means I will. 

The Highest Calling

I’m always torn on Mother’s Day as to whether or not I want to go to church.  Do I want to go hear how even though I’ve chosen to follow Christ I’m still missing the mark because I don’t have children? The message is:  I haven’t embraced the highest calling so I'm not doing something right. I'm not "complete"
Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Jesus say the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind?  And the second is love your neighbor as yourself.   Jesus goes on to say if you love your mother, father, sons, daughters more than Me you aren’t worthy of following me. (Mark 12:28-31; Matthew 10:37; Luke 14:26)  
Our highest calling is to glorify God.  We do this through choosing to obey and let Him lead us.  For some that’s missionary.  For some that’s healer.  For some that’s wife, husband, mother, father. There are thousands of ways God uses us.  All roles are equal.  It’s society that assigns value and elevates one over the other.  The lie is that life is meaningless without kids. I’m not buying it. God says there’s no greater road than the one that leads to Heaven. I’m not trading my eternal treasures in Heaven for temporary ones here.
I love my mother.I appreciate all she sacrificed for us. This Mother’s Day I’m going to thank her for loving me and being there for me. I’m going to thank my parents for giving me the confidence to live a life worthy of Christ.   I’m not going let others make me think I’m wrong for the road I've chosen.   I know motherhood is an important role, but that doesn’t make what I do any less.  I’m not in a holding pattern waiting for life to begin after motherhood.   
I’m going to say thank you to those who cover for me when I have to take off for the same gyn, dentist, eye appointments they do. I’m going to sympathize because I hate dishes and laundry too—yes, single people with no children get dishes and clothes dirty. I’m going to be jealous because I had to take my own garbage can out in the rain instead of having a kid to do it. 
I’m going to say you're welcome for covering for those moms who take off for field trips and soccer games. I’m going to be forgiving when a friend breaks plans for a sick child. I’m going to do my work cheerfully even if I don't get a thank you. 
  If God has in your life to be a mother, great.  Embrace that with all you have.  But, if that's not where He's leading you, don't force it.  Life's hard enough living it where you should be.  Don't add the wrong direction to the mix.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Gone with the Procrastination

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task." ~William James

Unless it's weeding through 1300 emails.  Whew, that wasn't easy!
In my technology post I discussed my love/hate relationship with technology.  Part of the problem is email junkmail.  It's like getting those ads in the mail that you didn't ask for and wonder why it came to you.  Before you say it, yes I have a spam filter--but you know how that goes.  Ads come in the mail, solicitors call you, and junk ends up in your inbox. 
It's life in a consumer driven society. 
Not having any more excuses--like the A to Z challenge, certification self-tests, dirty dishes--I finally got on email and the piles of clothes in my laundry basket.  It was getting to the point where I was going to have to wear PJs to work.  I don't know that pirates or plaid would go over too well.  So now I have clean clothes and an empty inbox. 
Scarlett O'Hara often said things like I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.I've been doing that as well.  The problem is my brain is so full of what I'm going to do tomorrow it's going to busy for the next month.  So, I'm going to start working down my list of things I've been putting off.
I just have to reach into tomorrow and pull them back to today....

What are you putting off that could be done today?