First, I'd like to thank...
I'm quite excited and feel like I'm a slacker by only just now acknowledging this award.  Many thanks to Carrie at The Slow Dripped Life for the honor.  I'll be really Kreative if I can get a link back to her site in here.   The Slow-Dripped Life.  I think I did it right.  We shall see. 
I think the most difficult part of all this is answering questions about myself.  Usually I'm the one doing the interviewing. 

KREATIV RULES:

1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog.

2. Answer the seven questions

3. Provide ten random factoids about yourself.

4. Last but not at all least, hand this on to seven deserving others.

 

Seven Questions (that only scratch the surface)
1.  What is my favorite song?
      How does one capture the wind?  It's as impossible as saying my favorite song.  Depending on my mood or what I need, I go with everything from Mozart to George Strait, Michael W. Smith to Van Halen.  I can say when I have a migraine Pink Floyd is better than drugs. 

2.  What is my favorite dessert? 
         Graeme McDowell and a can of whip cream--wait, it said dessert, not fantasy dessert, didn't it?  I'll have to go with  homemade chocolate chip cookies just out of the oven with a cold glass of milk.  Or coffee.  Everything's good with coffee. 

3.  What do I do when I'm upset? 
        I'm not much of a crier, but more of a plotter.  I write and kill people in my stories.  It's less obvious and more legal than real life.  Maybe I don't kill them but make bad things happen.  But this is if I'm upset with people.  Otherwise I just journal about things.  Then, when things are better I either store them for later reading or burn it as a symbol of a new start. 
       Mostly I just harm people in stories though.

4.   What is my favorite pet? 
      It wouldn't be fair to pick one.  I mean, you don't tell people who you're favorite child is--you have one, but you don't say it.  A mangy hyena might be kind of fun and different....

5.  Which do I prefer: white or wheat?
      I go with white/wheat bread--I want it all!

6.  What is my biggest fear?
      That I'll meet the boogey man and he won't be as scary as people said.  I'll have wasted all that time being afraid of him when I could've been doing something else. 

7.  What is my attitude mostly? 
      Have confidence in myself and care about others.  

 

Ten Random Things about me.....

• I was going to be a cardiovascular surgeon. Then I did a pedi rotation.  Darn kids ruined it for me. 
• Possum and nutria aren't so good, but alligator and rabbit are pretty tasty. 
• I love Ireland and will visit there before I die.
• I love my red curls and freckles. 
• My forearm is longer than my foot.
• I've started an intraosseous IV on a baby--that's an IV in a bone instead of a vein. 
• I love ice hockey--need more of it in Louisiana
• I can curl my tongue down and up.
• I've never had stitches or a cast--so far. 
• I love to travel where you get to meet people, not just see things. 

And now the most important part:  Seven people who deserve this more than me:
Blabbin Granny--http://rubyndub.blogspot.com/
Journaling Woman--http://journalingwoman.blogspot.com/
Writing in Wonderland--http://writinginwonderland.blogspot.com/
Wagging Tales--http://clancytales.blogspot.com/
Texas Playwright Chick--http://www.playwrightchick.com/
Sherry Perkins--http://sherryperkins.blogspot.com/
Gonna Eat Worms--http://gonnaeatworms.blogspot.com/

It's so hard to pick just seven as there are so many incredible places out in cyberspace. 
Thank you again, Carrie, for the award and all who read this. 

I was going to post this in two parts--but didn't

Part One

I've been wondering why do people still get married?  I searched the Internet and found all kinds of answers:  Children, financial or emotional security, love. Every reason given I can get outside of marriage except one--- “You’re supposed to.  Everyone does it.”   To which I have four words: lemmings to the sea.

In all that I read I had to wonder if marriage is more of an antiquated sentimentality than a useful social institution.  In history marriages were arranged by someone besides the groom or bride and didn’t involve emotions. Love was discouraged and reserved for affairs and friendships.  Marriage was for power plays, politics, and procreation.  Love really didn’t enter into it until the Renaissance when stories and art blossomed.  In the 21st century we have raised it to a whole new level.  Fairy tale weddings may have started with the Brothers Grimm but are perpetuated by American capitalism.  The wedding is as much about the wedding planner as the bride.  The groom is just an afterthought.

Many of the taboos surrounding relationships no longer exist: sex outside of marriage, child out of wedlock. Affairs are expected. Marriage isn’t a deterrent for such behaviors.  Financially, emotionally,  and socially both sexes can survive without a spouse. 

Knowing this,  I have to ask:  why do it?  And not only once, but why twice, three times, and even four?   I know we don’t want to be alone, but why not just live together?  It’s what people do anyway to make sure they can get along.  I’ve heard the argument that the marriage bond makes people more committed.  I’m not sure I believe that when almost half of marriages in America end in divorce.  

I was also searching why people get divorced.  There were many reasons why, but one stuck out.  Because we can.  When we get bored, angry, find another to love, it’s easy to say I’m leaving.   If we aren’t being fulfilled then it’s okay to seek something else. The marriage relationship is focused on the needs of the individual rather than a commitment between two people that considers all sides.

From what I’ve read and heard marriage as a social institution seems obsolete.  We don't have to use it for financial security.  We don't need more kids in the world.  It's not such a strong political leverage anymore.  People can give me all sorts of arguments, but I’m happy being single.   I can’t think of why I’d want to rock the boat on that.  I love all sorts of men.  Why should I choose just one and according to modern society I shouldn’t let a little thing like he’s married to someone else get in the way. Who cares about her and the kids as long as I get what I want?  Who cares that he’ll probably cheat on me, too?  I’ll just go on to someone else. To put it crudely, why should I pay for milk I can get free?

It isn't the 40 year old virgin we should be making fun of.  It's the crazy chick whose dad spends more on her wedding dress than he did her first car that needs to be ridiculed. 

(Collective gasp from all the soccer moms and religious folks. Don’t worry.  I’m still on the side of the angels.)

Part Two

     I believe in marriage, but not as a social institution. Society takes God out of the marriage relationship, but in its truest, purest form, you can’t because marriage is a gift from God. It’s one man and one woman, together forever.      

     I’ve struggled with this because I know people who are on their second marriages or have married people with children and exs, many of them Christians.  They seem like good people.  The older I get the fewer fish in the pond so I wonder if I should compromise in some point.  But it’s clear what God’s viewpoint is, no matter how much we try to rationalize it.  (Genesis 2: 20-25; Matthew 5:31-32; Mark 10: 1-12)  People may change, but God doesn't. 

     When I was younger I met a guy who I thought was the man for me.  We understood each other and complimented each other.   The problem?  He was married.  We didn’t pursue the relationship.  In later years he called because he and his wife divorced.  Here was my chance at my soul mate.  What stopped me?  The minute he married her he became her husband.  She was the mother of his children.  He chose her.  I would always be the other woman.   I don’t want to be his second chance to get it right. What if he thinks he messed up again? 

Yes it’s true:   I’m a hopeless romantic. I want to be the one he waited for.   I believe in fairy tale endings and Prince Charming.  I know I can have my happy ending.   

Oh, I'm not so pie-in-the-sky  to think it will be all hearts and flowers.  What we obtain too cheap we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only that gives everything its value.   Thomas Paine said that of freedom.  I think it's true of our marriage commitment. It's not about me and what I get, but about us and what we can do for each other.  The hard times make us grow and the willingness to forgive strengthens our belief in the relationship. 

And it's not just our actions in the marriage but also what we do before that shows how seriously we take it.   Am I living a life now that shows I believe in marriage?  Or am I getting my free stuff thinking I'll change once I find "the one"?

I’ve been told I’m too idealistic.  Too picky.  Too prudish.  I’m told I’m unrealistic in my expectations.  I don’t believe that. Too many people buy into that lie and lower their expectations.   They end up in bad relationships because they think bowing to peer pressure is better than being true to themselves. 

Because I believe in God, I believe all the things He said are possible.  I'm holding out for the one who's holding out for me.  I've come too far to give up now.  I’d like to be married, but I don’t need to be. If I can’t have marriage God’s way, then I'll pass on it.

Some people won't agree.  Me?   I’m good with it. 



Wedding Video and a Question of Etiquette

If April was the Alphabet, May seems to be Marriage.  I guess since I've been getting some invitations, weddings have been on my mind, especially how to get out of going.  One thing that helps is when people get married at the same time.  You can't be in two places at once. 

The problem with so many weddings is you have to buy so many presents at one time, along with all the graduation gifts.  And I would like a summer vacation. 

If I get married I'm going to pick an obscure wedding month...except not January.  January is when people get their bills from Christmas.  Maybe October or November 1.  It's far enough from everything expensive so I'll probably get better gifts.  I know I spend more on people with fall weddings since I don't have so many other things to do. And, Halloween is just over so I can save on wedding decorations.

This is my etiquette question: if you've been invited to a second wedding---as those who read my last post knows I have---do you have to buy a present if you bought the person a present for their first wedding?  I'm not trying to sound cheap here but I go back to the previous statement that everybody wants to get married at the same time.   Weddings, graduations, a few babies thrown in:  stop the insanity!

Second weddings bring all sorts of new complications:  first for  bride, second for groom.  Third for  bride, first for groom.  These things happen, especially the older I get. 

Then there's the question of should you even go, let alone buy a gift,  if you liked the first spouse better and you think your friend has lost their mind getting married again. 

I'm sure some bridal magazine has a book about this and will be willing to sell it, but I can't afford it because I have to buy all these wedding gifts that I may or may not be obligated to. 

This is yet another reason to get married once and stay married.  It's so much easier on all the people you invite to the ceremony.   

So you may be asking if I got a gift for the last wedding?  Yeah, some towels they had on their registry. I mean, everybody needs towels, even if the wedding doesn't last...again.

The more pertinent question people have been asking, though, is what video were we watching? 

Weird Al's Like a Surgeon, of course.  

Where else can you can learn about medicine, lawsuits,  and dancing before they say "I do"? 

So, what about you?  What kind of issues have you faced as a wedding guest?